Tag Archives: songwriting

Song Lyrics: Haunted House

“Verse 1

Regret always follows

Making you feel hollow

You promise it is the last

Even if you know it is a lie

Continue reading Song Lyrics: Haunted House

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Poem / Song Lyrics: Nowhere

“Crisis

Crisis

That’s how

I see who I am

My humanity

Is questionable

Indefinable

Nowhere

Where am I from?

Nowhere

Where do I belong?

Passport

Passport

Worthless document

They think it is fake

My nationality

Defies fascism

Racism

Nowhere

Where am I from?

Nowhere

Where do I belong?

Colour

Colour

Just pigment

Yet, key in my life

My race

A construct

Conduct

Nowhere

Where am I from?

Nowhere

Where do I belong?

Roots

Roots

The truth

Although, recovering it, is painful

My ethnicity

Most important

Constant

Nowhere

Where am I from?

Nowhere

Where do I belong?

Identity

Identity

African heritage

Stolen, erased, trashed and enslaved

My soul

Invisible essence

Distress

Nowhere

Where am I from?

Nowhere

Where do I belong?”

 

By Emilie F. Yaakaar

All Rights Reserved © 2017

 

 

Song Lyrics: Anarchic Mind

“(VERSE 1)

Growing up I had no guide

There was no one to teach me about my role

I kinda did what I wanted

I kinda was who I wanted

With no limits or social rules

Being part of the marginalised had its advantages

Hardly anyone cares enough to police you

I kinda created my own morality

I kinda shaped my view on morality

Without pressure or lectures

But, at some point, people got involved

My wings were cut off to push me into a box

I kinda felt like a prisoner of others’ desires

I kinda thought it was the end of my own desires

Which were in trouble and in danger

(PRE-CHORUS)

Those people started to be like

Clean this, clean that

Learn to do this for your future man

Cook this, cook that

Learn to serve the man of the house

Fix this, fix that

You are a girl, it is your task

Do this, do that

You are old enough, even if you are still a child

(CHORUS)

I’m sorry, that’s not gonna happen

And your expectations don’t matter

I don’t care about catering to men

I just want to be for myself

Changing for others is not in my plans

Where were others while I was suffering alone?

Don’t wanna limit myself to rise someone else’s ego

I’m not a slave or a puppet

My mind is filled with dreams and goals

Marriage, being a housewife and kids are not in those

Things might change, I’m still young

But, please let me live

Teach me to be responsible, but also carefree

Teach me to be mature, but also dreamy

Oh oh oh

My anarchic mind won’t allow this

Oh oh oh

My mind is too anarchic for this

(VERSE 2)

Soon depression came

My brain was lost and my heart broke

I kinda was confused about everything

I kinda felt angry about everything

With a lot of resentment and sorrow

Forced into the mainstream

Into what was expected of a black female teen

I kinda thought they were right

I kinda didn’t want to prove them right

Without keeping my pride and arrogance

Yet suddenly I saw the light

That showed me the path to being strong and wild

I kinda went through a resurrection

I kinda reinvented myself through resurrection

Which motivated me and opened my eyes

(PRE-CHORUS)

Those people were still like

Clean this, clean that

Learn to do this for your future man

Cook this, cook that

Learn to serve the man of the house

Fix this, fix that

You are a girl, it is your task

Do this, do that

You are old enough, even if you are still a child

(CHORUS)

I’m sorry, that’s not gonna happen

And your expectations don’t matter

I don’t care about catering to men

I just want to be for myself

Changing for others is not in my plans

Where were others while I was suffering alone

Don’t wanna limit myself to rise someone else’s ego

I’m not a slave or a puppet

My mind is filled with dreams and goals

Marriage, being a housewife and kids are not in those

Things might change, I’m still young

But, please let me live

Teach me to be responsible, but also carefree

Teach me to be mature, but also dreamy

Oh oh oh

My anarchic mind won’t allow this

Oh oh oh

My mind is too anarchic for this

(BRIDGE)

From every bad experience

You can learn a lesson

I learnt many

From the one in this song

One, there are no designed life paths

Two, there are no rules on how to be a girl

Three, arrogance is sometimes necessary

Four, arrogance is still problematic

Five, you can fake who you are if under pressure

Six, you can fake who you are till you crack

Seven, sacrifice comes at a huge cost

Eight, sacrifice is sometimes worth it and others not

 (CHORUS)

I’m sorry, that’s not gonna happen

And your expectations don’t matter

I don’t care about catering to men

I just want to be for myself

Changing for others is not in my plans

Where were others while I was suffering alone

Don’t wanna limit myself to rise someone else’s ego

I’m not a slave or a puppet

My mind is filled with dreams and goals

Marriage, being a housewife and kids are not in those

Things might change, I’m still young

But, please let me live

Teach me to be responsible, but also carefree

Teach me to be mature, but also dreamy

Oh oh oh

My anarchic mind won’t allow this

Oh oh oh

My mind is too anarchic for this

Oh oh oh

My anarchic mind won’t allow this

Oh oh oh

My mind is too anarchic for this”

 

By Emilie F. Yaakaar

All Rights Reserved © 2016

 

 

 

 

Song Lyrics: Who Is Gonna Love Me?

“(VERSE 1)

My problematic unloved soul

Has accepted that it might always be alone

 

I’m too complicated and paradoxical

Way too weird to be understood by someone

 

Trust is something I lack

Met too many people that didn’t treat me right

 

(PRE-CHORUS)

So I know dating isn’t for me

Yet, I still wonder…

 

(CHORUS)

Who is gonna love me?

Who is gonna stay?

Who is gonna heal me?

And end my pain?

 

I don’t see anyone

Courting me and liking me enough

To tolerate my broken mind

And to fill the empty spaces in my heart

 

(VERSE 2)

My dysfunctional sad brain

Has processed it will never find a partner

 

I’m too arrogant and cold

Way too independent to depend on someone else

 

Bravery is something I lack

Met too many people that told me to step back

 

(PRE-CHORUS)

Hence I’m aware relationships aren’t for me

Yet, I still wonder….

 

(CHORUS)

Who is gonna love me?

Who is gonna stay?

Who is gonna heal me?

And end my pain?

 

I don’t see anyone

Courting me and liking me enough

To tolerate my broken mind

And to fill the empty spaces in my heart

 

(BRIDGE-Just Melody)

 

(CHORUS)

Who is gonna love me?

Who is gonna stay?

Who is gonna heal me?

And end my pain?

 

I don’t see anyone

Anyone

Anyone

Courting me and liking me enough

To tolerate my broken mind

To tolerate my broken mind

And to fill the empty spaces in my heart”

 

By Emilie H. Featherington

All Rights Reserved © 2016

Poem: Erroneous Honesty

“It will get better

A short promise

Which has never materialised

 

It is full of power and hope

Which do nothing but deceive

And anger a hurt soul

 

Why is no one frank?

I wish the revealed truth wasn’t subjective

Naivety is to blame for my heart’s death

 

Suddenly nothing matters anymore

Apathy is my new invisible friend

Silent, but as toxic as its predecessor

 

Everything I loved

I craved and even fought for

Has become everything I hate and want far away

 

When did my favourite days of the year became the least favourite ones?

My birth and the birth of Christ

Days of sorrow rather than joy now

 

All because of lies

Nobody likes to be played

And without apologies, the game doesn’t end

 

At least I’m not a wishful thinker anymore

Too familiar with arrogance to expect anything better

Just wish people thought before acting and hurting others

 

As if growing up in care, black, poor, and a woman wasn’t enough

I can’t lie, I try to love my identity, but it sucks

To be sane, I have to pretend these handicaps aren’t real

 

I don’t enlighten myself to seem smart

I don’t want to be an activist for praise

In my life these aren’t options, it is either do them or die

 

Struggles don’t make me strong

They just make me wish I was never born

While weakening my mind, unleashing my dark side

 

They say scars make you perfect

But, what if they don’t heal?

Infections like mine kill

 

Gratitude is so important

Still, it won’t tame the pain I have endured

Nor the silent calls for explanations

 

I cherish my professional career

My studies, my grades

And the few friendships I have

 

My friends are the biggest gifts life could have ever given me

Not many, I can count them with my hands’ fingers

Yet, invaluable, life-saving and matchless

 

 

However, I can’t stand

Who I am, who I am surrounded by

When I didn’t choose our ties and I can’t left them behind

 

They influence my life too much

Burning my neurons, altering my hormones

Clotting my vessels, asphyxiating my lungs

 

Also, attractiveness remains my most unattainable goal

Love for me is a dangerous fairy tale

And I’m not a princess who thrives in chaos

 

So much ache that can’t be spoken about

And can barely be written about

Repression becomes the only option

 

I used to be optimistic

I believed in the possibility of change

I thought good times were coming

 

But…

After twenty years of seeing a cycle that never ends

I buried my confidence and did a funeral for it

 

What did I do to deserve this curse?

I’m starting to believe in all the stories about magic

This bad luck is supernatural

 

I guess, not everyone is born to live

Some are just born to survive

Be productive for the world and die

 

Facing reality may have saved my mind

I no longer poison myself with denial

My mind is clearer now that my illusions evaporated

 

Everything might stay the same, probably will worsen as always

At least I won’t waste time wishing anymore, since now I know

It won’t get better”

 

-Written with the motive of my 20th birthday.

 

By Emilie H. Featherington

All Rights Reserved © 2016