There is something you need know. And yes, it is about her. She doesn’t want this relationship anymore. She wants to break up with you. The drugs changed her mind. Nothing in her life has improved, but the drugs made her believe something has. Continue reading Goodbye
Why can’t I be a snowflake? Why can’t I be seen as delicate? Pure? Beautiful? Someone that shouldn’t be heated up because it melts, someone that should be admired and not touch since it would be destroyed. Sadly, I’m not a snowflake, I’m a piece of carbon. Dark carbon. Burning carbon. Ashy carbon. Used to power the world, used to draw, used to feed whole homes. Just used, not admired. I’m carbon. But I wanted to be a snowflake. Now I can’t even come close to a snowflake. Because my heat will instantly melt it. Even if those aren’t my intentions. But I was born for this. I was made for this. This is my destiny. Being put under a chimney and heating rooms up. Radiating warmth while burning souls. That’s my destiny. I hate being carbon.
“[…] Oh Happiness, I miss you. I haven’t seen you since 2012. Every day it feels like if I am sleepwalking into Death, I want her to be my new best friend. My current friend is Apathy, which might be even more dangerous than Death. She makes me act like a ghost lost in the living world, not wanting to be found or seen, hiding behind the scenes. I no longer want to live, I don’t want to be here. I’m just trying to survive, work hard to get by. I wish Hope never left me, but she deceived me too many times. I shouldn’t have scared her away, but Reality told me to do so. I still think it was the right thing to do, yet sometimes I resent Reality for being so cruel. At least I learnt that being kind and submissive was a waste of time. I’m glad I got absolved from the death sentence that Hope and you imposed on me. However, when both of you left, you took Confidence with you. With Confidence gone, Insecurity took over my mind. So many illusions and dreams remain caged in my heart, but I can’t set them free because Insecurity took the cage’s key and threw it into a dark sea. I can’t recover it because I never learnt to swim, I never thought I would need to swim to save my life. I always saw myself as a free butterfly, not as a fish in a tank with a scratch. What will I do when the tank breaks and I fall to the cold ground with millions of crystals? Probably lay there and let out my last few breaths while hoping to cause a good impression on Death, my new best friend. […]”