“[…] Oh Happiness, I miss you. I haven’t seen you since 2012. Every day it feels like if I am sleepwalking into Death, I want her to be my new best friend. My current friend is Apathy, which might be even more dangerous than Death. She makes me act like a ghost lost in the living world, not wanting to be found or seen, hiding behind the scenes. I no longer want to live, I don’t want to be here. I’m just trying to survive, work hard to get by. I wish Hope never left me, but she deceived me too many times. I shouldn’t have scared her away, but Reality told me to do so. I still think it was the right thing to do, yet sometimes I resent Reality for being so cruel. At least I learnt that being kind and submissive was a waste of time. I’m glad I got absolved from the death sentence that Hope and you imposed on me. However, when both of you left, you took Confidence with you. With Confidence gone, Insecurity took over my mind. So many illusions and dreams remain caged in my heart, but I can’t set them free because Insecurity took the cage’s key and threw it into a dark sea. I can’t recover it because I never learnt to swim, I never thought I would need to swim to save my life. I always saw myself as a free butterfly, not as a fish in a tank with a scratch. What will I do when the tank breaks and I fall to the cold ground with millions of crystals? Probably lay there and let out my last few breaths while hoping to cause a good impression on Death, my new best friend. […]”
Humans we tend to be selfish and do things only when we get something out of it. Why? Because we always want profit and materialistic rewards. What is the meaning of helping? What is the meaning of giving? What is the point of being good to others? What is the point of lending a hand without receiving anything back? If you have ever asked yourself that questions, please check the following video. If you have never asked yourself that questions, check it too. Your perspective on life might change after it.
From now on, I will sometimes select 3 quotes from movies, books, song lyrics, famous people, inspirational speeches etc. Then I will edit them on a picture, and I will share them here with a brief reflection. I hope you like this idea. All the pictures editions will be done by me, unless stated otherwise. “bitxinastreacherouslife.tumblr.com” is the name of my old blog.
This are the first three quotes, and the three of them come from a list of my favourite films. Enjoy them!
“Maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue. And maybe we can actually never have it no matter what.” -The Pursuit of Happyness (Movie)
There are a lot of moments in my life, in which I feel like this. Desperation. Because everything is going very wrong. You just don’t believe in Disney promised happy endings…
“There was one thing my murderer don’t understand; he didn’t understand how much a father could love his child.” -The Lovely Bones (Movie)
This phrase hits me whenever I hear it. Because it is so true. A powerful relationship between father-child is something incomprehensible. Not only for evil people, but for everyone in this world. Just love, in it’s pure state.
“Well, I don’t know. Some things in life, like the color of a house, don’t really matter. But lifting someone’s heart? Now, that matters.” -The Secret Life of the Bees (Movie)
This is such a beautiful wise quote. Sometimes in order to make others happy, we have to give up in small things. I believe the smile in their face makes you feel so good, you simply forget about the small thing you lost… Kindness heals every type of pain existent.
I hope you liked this set of quotes and pictures.
Giving you time to reflect and feel inspired,
Emilie H. Featherington ❤
Every night when you go to sleep, you should think: “Did I enjoy today? Do I feel satisfied or fulfilled? Was it worth it what I did?” If the answer is a triple <<yes>>, perfect! If it isn’t, something is not good. If it is a triple <<no>>, is time to change the situation. Enjoying everyday is difficult, nevertheless you must feel pleased and you must consider the day valuable. For instance, I don’t enjoy college most days, but attending lessons is worth it. I feel satisfied by being in class, because I think about how it will help for my future career. I need good grades for university; therefore I need to pass my exams and coursework.
What is the point of living a life you don’t feel happy living? Life itself has no meaning; we have to give it a meaning by filling it with remarkable experiences, people and moments to remember. For example, it would be so easy for me finishing college this year, doing a three year nursing degree in university, and working in a hospital straight after graduating. I may not even need to do a degree. I would have a good salary, enough to live. But I don’t want to be a nurse. I hate hospitals, and I’m a very sensible person; every little sad story affects me. I want to work studying and conserving animals, which requires much more hard work. I need higher grades, and I need more time studying. Plus, finding a job in that sector is very difficult. It is a competitive sector. Yetthese facts don’t let my determination down.
Humans we have developed over the years a “perfect” model of life: studying and achieving the best grades; working and having the highest paid job; and marrying and having the best family. People who don’t follow it 100% are called deviants. We are normally raised and nurtured to strive for the best paid job, to find a man/woman, and to have kids. People who don’t want to work in jobs that require going to university are labelled as “lazy”, even if it is their vocation. People who want to pursue careers in competitive sectors such as the music industry, acting, painting, writing, are called “idealists”, even if it’s their dream and they can achieve. People who don’t want to marry or be in a relationship are called “loners”, even if they are truly happy without a partner.
You are not considered successful in this world until you have a high paid/standard job, you are married, you have your own house, and/or you have kids. But the truth is real success is not about reaching all these expectations; real success is about sitting down a moment, reflecting, and saying “I’m happy with what I do”. Some people have a less “complex” idea of happiness. I’m not saying you can’t be happy married or with a good job. I’m saying happiness is not only achieved through those things. And we are not taught this in school, and sometimes nor by our parents.
To love the life you live, you must live the life you love. We are often pressured to follow society’s life prototype, and we shouldn’t be pressurized to do it. Why working as a baker for instance, is not seen as well as being a banker? Yes, you earn more being a banker, but what if you are happy baking and you can live out of it? You reached your set success. Why not being married is considered being a failure? What if you don’t want to marry? What if you enjoy not relying on anyone? Also, I don’t understand why we think celebrities and rich people are the only successful individuals on Earth. I don’t want to be a celebrity, and being rich is not one of my life goals. I would consider myself successful working in a natural reserve, helping to conserve an animal in danger of extinction. My family probably wouldn’t, but I would. I may never marry, I may never have kids. But I’m fine with those possibilities, since they don’t crush with any of my life ambitions.
In addition, to make a life worth it, you don’t only need to make yourself happy. Contributing to the world is also important. That’s why to me, volunteering and charity work is something I need to be involved in. I never feel as satisfied as when I help for a good cause, and/or as when I help others. Make sure what you do doesn’t only make you happy; make sure you are actually helping the world and other people. Your happiness is imperative, but having a kind and charitable mind warms your heart like no other thing. That is true love. I don’t mean you have to donate money to good causes, or you have to be a volunteer. But little actions such as hugging someone on their darkest moments, or offering help to people who need it on your community, is enough. Lending a hand to others and helping for the world to be a better place, will make you much happier and will make your life much more worth it.
Guys, remember all this when taking life decisions. When choosing what subjects to do in high-school. When choosing if moving of country. When choosing if going to university. When choosing if marrying or not. When choosing if having kids. These are just some of the few examples. Will those decisions help you to be happy? Life is about being successful, and success is about being happy. Being happy is going to sleep every day saying “I enjoyed today!”, “I feel satisfied/fulfilled with today”, and/or “Today was worth it”. Never forget this: “Live the life you love, and love the life you live.
Giving inspirational advice,
Emilie H. Featherington
When do we feel happy? When we are loved? When we love ourselves? When we care less about others’ opinions?
Describing happiness is complicated. Better said; I think that happiness is an abstract word that can’t described. I believe that everyone has different opinions about when they are happy and how to achieve happiness. It is subjective.
Having this fact clear, I asked 6 random people to give me a definition of happiness, to see their opinions. Here are the responses:
“To me, happiness is when you’re able to feel good within yourself, you don’t need anybody else to make you feel good – you’re happy when you are ok with who you and where you are in life.” – Talia, 16
“I think happiness is a state when you are not 100% happy, as I doubt anyone can be, but happy enough to forget your negative feelings, so it is more like 90% positive and 10% negative and happiness is like having a good state of mind basically.” – Meenal, 13
“Happiness is not being one hundred percent happy with your life to me. It’s when, even though things aren’t going well and the world doesn’t seem to be on your side, you manage to laugh with friends, joke around. You snatch small ebbs of happiness throughout life. And the times you can forget about the sadness in your life make happiness.” – Emma, 16
“Happiness is to value everything you have in life (even walk, breathe…). I think that someone can’t reach happiness if he/she doesn’t precisely look for others happiness. That’s why happiness is connected with love, we can’t reach happiness alone (at least the ‘real’ happiness). If our beloved ones are happy it’s easier for us to be happy. Happiness is basically sharing love and being able to concentrate in the positive things in life and trying to solve the negatives ones, but not only ours (e.g. help in others’ challenges). Happiness is feeling proud of what you are doing with your life.” – Isabel, 17
“Happiness is when you find out that you can be happy without the person that you loved the most. Happiness is when you find out that other people’s opinion about you won’t get you anywhere and won’t be as relevant as your opinion about yourself. Happiness is when you finally realize that the less you give a damn the more you will be happy.” –Nada, 14
“Happiness is feeling good about yourself, knowing that even if you are just one person in the world, you are loved, you are healthy and you are living the moment.” –Estiva, 16
I’m in love with these six definitions of happiness. All of them, though different, are correct. The six individuals who answered this question probably reflected their responses on when and how they feel happy themselves. Thus saying that their words are wrong would be stupid. Thank you very much Talia, Meenal, Emma, Isabel, Nada and Estiva for your quotes. I hope all of us can reflect on your words, which are without doubt wise and illuminating.
I bet now you are wondering which my definition of happiness is. How I feel when I am happy? When do I feel happy? Well. To me, happiness is not a long term situation. I don’t think it is something we have the power to change neither. I think happiness is a moment in which you realise everything is as it should be. It is an equilibrium between self-acceptance, being loved and spreading love.
As Talia, Isabel and Estiva pointed out, I’m happy when I feel good and proud about myself. When I pass a difficult exam. When someone tells me “thanks” after helping them. When I look in the mirror and I like what I see. When someone praises my efforts. When I accept my mistakes and defects. These small things boost my self-confidence, self-concept and self-esteem. It is not pride. It is like… satisfaction. We all have the right to feel well sometimes; actually, we should all feel well sometimes.
Meenal and Emma also talked about something significant. Happiness to me is not having a perfect life with no problems. It’s when, even if the storm seems endlessly, I can see the sun rays through the dark clouds. Emma said “you snatch small ebbs of happiness throughout life”, and I couldn’t agree more, because happiness is not a long term situation. Meenal said “happiness is like having a good state of mind basically”, and I totally support her words, because you need to be free of pessimism to feel happy. Happiness are small moments in life, that even if they seem routine and we take them for granted, they give us infinite joy. Laughing around with friends. Getting home after a long day. Hugging your loved ones before going to sleep.
Furthermore, Nada touched a very important point, as well as Talia. Happiness is an individual feeling. You shouldn’t rely your happiness in others, because that leads to lack of stability in your life. Caring about others opinions is like wearing a corset; it oppresses your chest to a point you can’t breathe anymore, and you don’t feel free till you take it off. You don’t need to depend on others to feel good with yourself. And following people’s opinions will affect you harmfully. Don’t allow people’s judgments to lead your life, because there is always some who has something off-putting to say.
Lastly, it is key to consider Isabel’s thoughts on the connection between happiness and love. Feeling loved is something we all NEED in life. Feeling that we belong to someone. As I said one time, as long as someone loves you, life is worth being lived. And there is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS someone out there who loves you. I will tell you a secret no-so-secret: we often tend to devalue people who could cross an ocean for us, while we overrate people who wouldn’t even wet their toe for us. Open your eyes. Love doesn’t always come from family, nor from our nearest social circles. Sometimes love comes from strangers. From people we have helped in a way or another, but we don’t even know they exist.
As Isabel said, helping others is one of the main paths to happiness. There is not such a pure love as the one that selfless help represents; being kind to others, and not waiting anything back from them. Sometimes is hard to accept that some people forget about how many times you have lent them a hand. But at the end of the day, you should do things for your own wellbeing.
On conclusion, happiness has no definition. Hence guys, my final piece of advice is: be yourself, have a good state of mind, be kind, help others, and grasp those little moments of joy because happiness is here a minute, and the next one isn’t.
Trying to inspire,
Emilie H. Featherington 🙂 ❤
(PD: I encourage you to leave a comment on which is your favourite definition of happiness between those six ones in bold and cursive, and/or leave your own definition of happiness)