Why Do I Love Bones So Much?

My favourite TV-series is Bones. I imagine most of you know this series. Maybe not from watching it, but from hearing or/and reading about it. Bones is an American comedy-drama that narrates the adventures of an FBI team and a forensic laboratory team to solve crimes.

The series started in 2005, and I started watching and following it in 2011. However, as soon as I discovered my interest in this series, I caught up on previous seasons. I can proudly say I have watched every Bones episode, from season 1, to season 9. And unlike with other TV-series I have tried to follow, I haven’t got tired in any moment. I can’t miss an episode; I’m addicted to Bones. That’s I can probably be called a boneshead (Bones’ hardcore fans name).

The main characters of the series are Temperance Brennan, who is a renowned forensic anthropologist and writer, and Selly Booth, an FBI agent who used to be a soldier from the USA army. In every episode, other characters also appear: Angela (Brennan’s best friend, who works in the forensic laboratory as an ITC operative), Sweets (Booth’s best workmate, who is a psychologist from the FBI), Cam (manager and supervisor of the forensic laboratory), and Hodgins (owner of the forensic laboratory, who is in charge of entomology issues). If I had to choose a favourite character, without doubt it would be Brennan. Despite being a fictional character, I admire her. Don’t worry, I adore the rest of characters also.

It is difficult to explain why l love Bones so much. There are various different reasons.

For instance, the realistic portrayal of the work carried out in a forensic laboratory is too good to ignore. It is obviously a fiction series, and it clearly can’t be filled with loads of forensic and scientific details, because people would lose interest quickly.

However, some facts that appear on the series are not fiction. Bones is inspired on the life and novels of the author Kathy Reichs, who is a forensic anthropologist and writer. Reichs is one of the producers of the TV-series, and she is there to make sure the scientific element of the series is kept as real as impossible.

Watching the show, I have learned so much wording and information related to forensic s and anthropology, you can’t imagine. Sometimes, I even look up if what I learnt is true or false, and in most cases, it turns out it is true!

Furthermore, the characters are very unique and original, making the series certainly different to other police/forensic/detective dramas.

Brennan is a realistic and objective character, highly logical, socially awkward, and not sensible at all. People can call her rude and cold hearted, but I think she is just an honest human being who struggles to believe things she has no evidence for or/and she can’t sense.

Booth is a sensitive and faithful character, who guides himself by his instinct more than by his brain. He carries a quite traumatic past, still that hasn’t stopped him for having dreams such as marrying the woman of his dreams.

The rest of characters are also quite diverse: Angela is a bohemian dreamer, Cam is a strict and determined woman, Sweets is a tender and perceptive man, while Hodgins is a weird childish scientific.  If you mix all these personalities, an interesting plot can be assured for every episode. In addition, the development each character has over seasons is very noticeable. None of them actually stay exactly the same forever, which guarantees the biggest plots twists you could imagine.

It is important I mention the fact that the main female character, Brennan, is not the stereotypical woman who is weak and oversensitive, who wants to be in a relationship and have kids, and who aspires to marriage. In addition, the romantic relationship she has with Booth is not the common one you find in Hollywood movies and series. He is the sensible and caring part, while she is the independent and rational part. You can only find a few stereotypes in this TV-series, which makes me happy, since I hate them.

Additionally, the mixture between drama and comedy is very good balanced. Not every episode is totally serious and tragic, and not every episode is totally sugar-coated and hilarious. There is even space to other topics such as friends, family, religion, culture, love, past etc. I love how different life subjects are touched in a sensible but intense manner. This allows various subplots, and not just one big plot. In this way, every time a subplot gets solved, another one appears, hooking you up again immediately.

On conclusion, it is hard for me to explain why I’m a boneshead. If someone asked me why I love Bones so much, I would probably say: the science behinds it fascinates, the characters are exceptional, and the plots and subplots are fresh to my mind. I recommend you all to give a try to this TV-series! If you love mystery, thriller, comedy, and love, I can ensure you won’t regret it!

Sharing my likes,

Emilie H. Featherington 🙂

Overcome An Emotional Breakdown

It is inevitable feeling down sometimes. When I say feeling down, I mean feeling very sad, quite angry, highly stressed, pretty frustrated, extremely anxious, or a combination of some, or all, of these sentiments.

I’m going to explain what I do to deal with emotional breakdowns. My method may or may not help you. But it is useful for me, and I just want to share it with you all, because it may practical for you:
Step 1) Understanding feeling down is normal: I never get worried about feeling sad, angry, stressed, frustrated, and/or anxious. I’m aware of the fact that negative sensations are part of life, as much as positive sensations. Some people have more negatives, others have more positives. Therefore, I understand there is nothing wrong on feeling down now and then. It is normal, because life is a rollercoaster and it isn’t perfect.Obviously, if I had an emotional breakdown constantly, such as long-term depression or severe anxiety triggers, I would seek medical help. Clinical depression is actually a medical condition which can be treated. Anxiety disorder is also a medical condition which can be treated. I always keep in mind, that if my emotional breakdown reached limits such as self-harm, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts; I would imminently seek help before hurting myself. However, I have never reached these limits.
In addition, I never punish myself for having an emotional breakdown. By punish, I mean thinking stuff like “I’m here hating or being depressed about my life when people are dying on Syria due to the war there. What an ungrateful person I am!” This type of statements are only applicable for situations in which I act like an spoiled girl and fume about “not having internet on my mobile”, “lacking of presents on my birthday”, and/or “crying over my brother stealing my snacks”. But when I feel down, it is due to serious situation; it is when I can’t help feeling that negative sensation.
Some people have easier lives, others have more difficult lives. Nevertheless everyone has problems. Having a medium-income family won’t make losing a friend less painful. Having clean water to drink won’t make a struggle to socialise less real. Having money to buy clothes won’t make parent’s fights less upsetting. I know there are people in much worse situations than me, and I’m grateful about not being on their shoes. Even though, that doesn’t make my serious problems any better, and my distress is still there.
Step 2) Figuring out why I’m having negative vibrations: There must be a reason why I’m feeling sad, angry, stressed, frustrated, and/or anxious. Identifying it is the best way to think about a solution. I usually know why I’m in a bad mood. In most cases, it is due to family problems, socialising efforts, losing weight difficulties, and self-confidence issues. I could say that I have negative vibrations about situations in which I don’t have physical or/and mental control enough. Feeling down is always triggered by something such as a person, or situation; unless you suffer from a disorder or a mental health condition such as anxiety or bipolarity. In any case, it is really important for me to figure out the exact cause of my emotional breakdown.
Step 3) Talking to someone who I trust and who will understand me: Whenever I’m feeling down, I always find someone to talk to. In a way or another, there is always someone available who will listen with empathy to my situation.
For instance, if I’m angry about a family problem, I often rant with my brother about it. Unless he is the problem, of course.
On the other hand, I often find myself messaging my far away friends about socialising efforts and self-confidence issues I experience in England. But I don’t message any friend; I message friends who are going through similar situations, who actually understand how I feel, and who won’t discuss what I told them with anyone else. Talking to someone really helps. You can rant about the topic, explain your feelings about it, seek for advice, and be comprehended. It is a way of letting all out. And it helps me to calm down and relief negative sensations. It really does. In the rare occasion in which I can’t contact anyone, I go directly to step 4.
Step 4) Reflecting about the motive of my emotional breakdown:  As a general rule, I make myself certain questions about the reason why I’m feeling down. I consider in depth what/who made my mood bad. Is this person/action a cause strong enough to waste my time? Is it worth it falling out? With these questions, it comes other typical ones: is there any way in which I can improve the situation? Do I have power over the actions that have led to my sadness, anger, stress, frustration, and/or anxiety? It is awkward how most of the times I realise falling out is not worth it all. The person who made me feel bad isn’t even affected. Or/and the action can’t be changed.
Sometimes I have control over the subject, like when I have socialising insecurities. I encourage myself thinking tomorrow is a new day and I can try talking to people again. Or, when I contemplate about giving up on my weight loss plan. I remember how good it will be weighting myself one day and thinking “wow, I’m not overweight anymore!”.
Other times, I don’t have control over the subject, like in most family arguments. I realise the problem is not mine, but of my parents, or my aunt, or other relatives. For example, when my mother and my father are having arguments about legal inconveniences, it is not my dilemma; but it affects me. However, I end acknowledging the fact I don’t have the power enough to change things. It is not losing against a problem; it is being realistic.
Or another example is when I miss my friends and family from Spain. I end up having to accept that I won’t see them at least until summer and that I’ll have to wait till then.
Reflecting about the reason of my distress is not only useful to understand it, but it also helps me to accept it. This step could also be called “accepting the motive of my emotional breakdown”, and it is the one in which I normally reduce, or eliminate, the feelings of sadness, anger, stress, frustration, and/or anxiety. This helps me to think more clearly, and create an outcome (if possible) of the problem. It is easier to think with an unperturbed mind than with a troubled mind.
Step 5) Distracting myself: This is the last step. It is all about finding something to do, to avoid thinking about the problem again. I’m never able to reach this phase before reflecting and accepting the reason of my dreadful mood. This is simply because if I don’t meditate and accommodate to the situation, I will still suffer from negative vibrations. Consequently I won’t be able to think about anything, but the problem.
I distract myself through relaxation and/or enjoyment. My relaxation techniques include sleeping/taking a nap, giving a walk, listening to music, watching TV and reading. My enjoyment techniques include playing basketball/ doing exercise, writing a song, writing any of my novels, blogging, and talking to/hanging out with my friends. I would say my most effective way of relaxing is lying on my bed and listening to music peacefully. I have a determined playlist of songs that improve my mood, either due to the melody or due to the lyrics. In contrast, my most effective way of enjoying myself is playing basketball. I love practising this sport, and it makes me focus on putting effort on the game, rather than on life problems.
This fifth step is not essential for me to reduce the feelings of sadness, anger, stress, frustration, and/or anxiety; when I reach this step, I’m looking forward to forget the motive of my distress. However, sometimes I don’t need to distract myself. For instance, if I’m feeling bad due to an argument with a friend, solving the argument with that friend is an easier way of feeling better. This step is useful for contexts in which there isn’t any viable solution, I don’t have power over the event, the situation is senseless, or dealing with the crisis requires time.
These are the five steps I follow to overcome an emotional breakdown. They always work out. If not, I would be on a rehabilitation centre or in a madhouse right now.
I would like to say, whenever I have felt down, I have never thought about turning to bad habits such as excessive smoking, drugs, or getting drunk. I don’t have anything against people who smoke, but I hate it. The fact that it causes millions of preventable deaths every year is a reason enough to avoid it. I know a lot of people are like “I’m young I can quit smoking at some point.” But quitting smoking is not easy, and the harm can’t be repaired.
I wouldn’t try other drugs mainly because they are illegal, they are expensive, and I wouldn’t even know where to get them. I don’t move in those sorts of social circles. I avoid them. Besides, I have seen people’s lives ruined by drugs, and I don’t want that for me. For a lot of people, consuming drugs is “fun” and a good way of “relaxing”. I see their point, yet I prefer to try another healthy ways of having fun and relaxing.
And I’m not going to say I have never drunken alcohol; I have. But I have never been drunk. I don’t think getting drunk is a way of socialising, but I know a lot of people believe so. The thing is, I despise not having control over situations. So imagine getting drunk, and not having control over my own body and mind. It would be a disaster to be honest. However, I have nothing against drinking alcohol. It is fine, as long as you control yourself and it doesn’t become a dependency.
Another negative habits people tend to do when having an emotional breakdown, is self-harming and suicide attempts. I have never done them, nor they are in my plans. However, I don’t blame people for doing them. It is the same with smoking, getting drunk and consuming drugs; the pressure you may be suffering can make you turn to awful things that give your momentary pleasure, or seem like good outcomes in that moment.
Sometimes, enough is enough. Your mind goes weak. Your body goes weak. But in some way, I have always been determined enough to say no to these things. I always remind myself these bad habits are not the solution of my problems; they are the beginning of new ones. I kick them away from my mind. I think about all my dreams and aspirations, and how I won’t be able to perform them if I’m a drug addict, an alcoholic, or much worse; I’m dead. Also, I think about people who love me, and how much they would suffer if I had an addiction that is harming me, or if I died.
On conclusion, we all feel down at least one time in our life. In most cases, it is more than one time. My recommendations to overcome an emotional breakdown are easy to follow: understanding feeling down is normal, figuring out why you are having negative vibrations, talking to someone you trust and who will understand you (if possible), reflecting about the motive of the emotional breakdown, solving the problem (if possible), and distracting yourself (if needed).
In addition, I try to be strong, and say no to smoking, drugs, self-harm, suicide, and high alcohol consumption. These lifestyle choices have the power enough to ruin your life and most of your opportunities; they can even wreck your relationships and spoil dreams. If you ever feel like you can’t cope alone anymore, talk with your parents or with an adult your trust such as your teacher, or your doctor. Charities and local authorities (social services) can also be helpful if there is no one on your social circles that can help you. Remember; you are not alone. Never.
Hugs and love,
Emilie H. Featherington ❤

Never Confuse Having Self-Confidence With Being Awfully Vain, Nor Confuse Having A High Self-Esteem With Having A Big Ego

In this blog post, I would like to talk about a two important topics: self-confidence and self-esteem. First of all, it is important to define these two topics, because people tend to confuse them. I took their definition from the online Oxford dictionary:

“Self-confidence: A feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement.”

“Self-esteem: Confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect.”

Basically, self-confidence is how you feel about your own abilities, and self-esteem is how much you think you are worth. I hope you can see the different between the two terms, despite their similarity.

Now, here come the two big questions: do you have self-confidence? (Do you trust your abilities?); do you have a high or low self-esteem? (Do you think you are worth a lot or nothing?). When comes to me, I have a high self-esteem, because I like how I look and I like who I am. But I don’t have a lot of self-confidence: I don’t trust my abilities for things such as socializing, having initiative or being a leader within a group.

I think that having self-confidence and having a high self-esteem is important in order to develop an identity during your teen and young adult years. Your success and life quality during your adulthood will most likely depend on the development of your identity. Developing an identity is establishing which are your strengths and weaknesses, accepting who you are, being yourself, having life goals/aims, and being able to make rational decisions. If you have not achieved at least some of these points by the time you enter your adulthood, you will have difficulties to live in society, and you will be very likely to make life choices you will regret. You will experience the so called “role confusion”. Low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence are phases everyone goes through at some point in their lives, but there are people who stay stuck forever in these phases.

In most cases, a person isn’t born with a low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence. In my opinion, there is a genetic factor that sets you to have a determined personality, but the environment in which you are raised influences the development of your personality from the moment you are born to the moment you die. Being neglected or maltreated during your childhood can have a very negative effect on your self-esteem and self-confidence, thus it will have a very bad impact on the development of your identity. Same with bullying, abuse and other traumatic experiences. Sometimes, people are able to accept and live with their traumatic experiences, but other people just repress those memories somewhere inside their brains, without realizing that they still affect them indirectly, till one day those memories explode and the disaster occurs.

Said all this, I’m going to talk about self-esteem and self-confidence individually.

Firstly, to have a high self-esteem, you have to accept who you are. The reason  I  kinda have a good self-esteem is because I always think that I have no one to impress in life but myself. If l like to wear a certain piece of clothing, I will wear it. If like a certain hairstyle, I will get it. My opinion in this case is more important than the opinion of others, because it is my body and my life.

The main causes of low self-esteem in people are negative non-constructive criticism and hurtful judgments. “You are ugly!”. “Your outfit is horrible, you have a horrible fashion taste!”. “You are stupid, you can’t even pass the test!”. “You just brought problems to my life I wish you never were in it!”. “You are so thin, anorexic idiot!”. “You are so tall, looking like an ugly troll!”. “You are so fat, whale!”. These short of comments can basically destroy a person’s emotions and mental stability. It is not about being weak or being strong; a constant verbal abuse affects everyone. Some people show the effect (complaining, insulting back, fighting, and defending themselves), others suffer on silent (depression, anxiety, self-harming, drug abuse, eating disorders). There are also people who do both things. This is why I never ever insult or criticise someone unless they have done the same with me, which is still bad, but I’m human after all: I’m not an angel.

Acceptance is the first step to increasing your self-esteem. Accepting who you are in the society in which we live nowadays is difficult. Very difficult. You can get judged for anything: damned if you do, damned if you don’t. That’s why you may as well just do what you want. Sometimes we live to please others, even if that means losing ourselves in the process. And that is not right. Yes, we need to care about other’s feelings. But putting others constantly in front of your own needs is not as good as it sounds. The truth is, being 100% selfish isn’t good, but nor is being 100% generous. Sometimes, you must please yourself before pleasing others. As harsh as it sounds, it is true. To make decisions, listen to your heart and to your mind, before listening to others’ hearts and minds. Sometimes people want to be helpful when giving you their opinion, but don’t allow anyone to influence you in such a way that you lose who you really are.

I’m going to give three golden advice comments to anyone who struggles to accept who they are:

1) You aren’t perfect, and your imperfections are what make you an actual human, because humans we are imperfect. So stop trying to be perfect, because it will never happen. You are fine as you are. Stay original, not a copy.

2) Think more about yourself, and less about others. Live to impress yourself, not to impress others. It’s YOUR life. Live it in your own way. Everybody makes mistakes, but without mistakes, you can’t learn.

3) Society is a b****, and trying to fit in inside something so superficial isn’t healthy nor good. Don’t adapt to society; make society adapt to who you are. As long as you don’t hurt anyone, and you don’t hurt yourself, you are free. A homogeneous society would be awfully boring; a heterogeneous society promises endless diversion. Be different and stand out.

Here ends my talk about self-esteem.

Secondly, to have self-confidence, you need to believe in yourself. I don’t think that you are able to have self-confidence till you have a high self-esteem. If you don’t accept who you are, it is not possible believing in who you are. When I say believing in who you are, I mean trusting your abilities and actions. I personally find easy accepting who I am, but I don’t really believe in certain parts of me.

For example, I struggle to socialise because when I’m talking to people, I feel like if I were boring them, so I tend to shut up abruptly or I simply never try to talk. That happens because I generally believe that I am a boring person, when I actually can be funny and entertaining if I want. But in some way, my mind blocks automatically those skills most of the times.

Another example is how I try not to talk during group interactions. I have speech impairment issues since I was little, and thanks to pedagogy, my speech has improved but I still can’t pronounce certain letters and words properly. Due to this, sometimes I’m speaking and I realise I can’t find a good word to explain what I’m saying, so I stutter. Stuttering makes me feel ashamed, and I always stutter and struggle to talk in front of or surrounded by a lot of people. So I just try not to participate in group interactions. However, not talking isn’t the solution.

As I said previously, my genetics almost certainly set me to be introvert, but I don’t believe I was born with a lack of self-confidence. During my childhood, I probably didn’t develop self-confidence when comes to communication because I was told to shut up, I was mocked at, and/or I was made feel bad when I said something wrong. I don’t have self-confidence neither to be a leader nor to have initiative, due to a fear of being unsuccessful, committing mistakes and not pleasing others. This is because during my childhood, I was severely shouted at (between others) if I tried to do things in my own way, and I did them wrong, thus I now believe that it is better not to try doing new things. By the way, by sharing my self-confidence story with all of you, I want to make you see why you may have a lack of self-confidence and also, I want to make you know that you are not alone.

Nevertheless, I have grown up, I’m going to be an adult in a matter of years; I need to gain self-confidence. At least I understand why I have a lack of self-confidence; it’s an inner mind conflict, and it is difficult to solve it. However, I don’t give up. Right now, I’m trying out different methods to improve my communication skills, my main weakness: I try to start conversations more often, I plan in advance what I’m going to say, if I stutter I breathe out and start what I was saying all over again, and I try to use body language and appropriate voice tones to show enthusiasm and interest during a conversation. I think that if I improve my communication skills, I will make successful interactions, what will increase my likelihood of making friends, and if I make friends, that will be a positive outcome, which will encourage me to keep up with good skills and make more successful interactions, to a point in which I will no longer be scared of being misunderstood or of being found boring, so I will have gained some confidence on my communication skills.

I don’t know if you can see the point in my method, but basically: to gain confidence in a certain skill, you must make an effort to improve that skill and you must push yourself to practice that skill pretty often, and of course you will gradually have positive outcomes from that skill, and those positive outcomes will motivate you to keep using that skill, till you no longer have to push yourself to carry out that skill; you will carry it out naturally. This method is a cascade reaction: you just need to start it.

Here ends my talk about self-confidence.

On conclusion: if you want to make it far in life, you need self-confidence and a high self-esteem. Never confuse having self-confidence with being awfully vain, nor confuse having a high self-esteem with having a big ego. Don’t brag about your virtues; just use them whenever you need to use them. So yes guys: accept who you are and trust who you are. Don’t allow the past to hunt, don’t allow your present to be horrible due to the past, and don’t allow your future to be awful due to your present. You are not alone; we are all in the same boat. Thus we should keep rowing so we don’t sink.

Hugs and love,

Emily H. Featherington 🙂 xxx

 

Be Selfish, and Think About Yourself

Here comes a piece of advice I wanna give to everyone out there who is mocked, abused, or bullied: life is too short to waste it overthinking and crying about people’s hurtful comments.

Everyone tells you ‘be yourself’ but no one tells you that you will be judged for it. Everyone tells ‘don’t be afraid to stand up for who you are’ but no one tells you that you will be judged for it. Everyone tells you ‘do what makes you happy’ but no one tells you that you will be judged for it. Conclusion: society is the queen of all b******.

I KNOW the PAIN of being constantly insulted. I KNOW the FRUSTRATION of being treated inferior and having your merits overlooked. I KNOW the MISERY of being left alone and forgotten. I KNOW the CONFUSION of being the object of hurtful pranks and jokes 24/7 without a real reason. It sucks. It really sucks. Sometimes I just sit there, and wonder why. Why to me? Why some people treat me bad, even though I have done nothing bad to them? Why if I give love, and I receive hate? I simply don’t understand. And I never will. Moreover, sometimes hurtful jokes and harsh insults come from people I appreciate, and THAT hurts like nothing else.

Life is unfair, and I have already learnt that. But I can’t help and get mad at myself when I’m in these sort of situations (bullying, abuse and mocking). It takes me a while to remember that I may not be the problem; people who hurt me without a reason are the problem. However, I still feel down and lifeless. Sad. Angry. Frustrated. Empty. I feel rubbish and useless. I would be a liar if I said that I don’t wish everyday I were different. I do wish I was like the average teen girl, but I’m not, and as much as I hate that fact, I can’t change it. All I can do is embrace who I am and love who I am, even if it is the hardest thing ever. And how do I do this? How do I keep going despite negativity? The answer is simple: <>.

The  future is uncertain, and I’m such a hopeful person. ‘Never lose hope’ is my most used phrase to lift my soul up. I believe that some day, things will be better; I will be surrounded by love, and I will belong to someone. I don’t think that I will ever have a 100% positive life, but I know that the constant feelings of anger, sadness, frustration and lifelessness will end, and they will only be temporary or momentary feelings. I have a lot of future plans: I want to work conserving animals, I want to travel, I want to publish a book, I want to set up a charity foundation… And these future plans are just a reflection of who I am and what I love to do. And I like that reflection a lot. I love visualising my future, and realising of how many things I will be able to do the moment I stop listening to or I stop surrounding myself of negativity and pain triggers. And that possible future is what makes me heal after being hurt; it is what makes me recompose myself after being broken; it is what makes me stand up after being stood on.

I won’t allow anyone to ruin my life. Anyone. ANYONE. You can hurt me with your comments; you can me tear me up with your actions; and you can break me down with your insensible pranks. But I will keep going on because life goes on, and pain is not the end. And you guys should think exactly the same as I do. Be selfish, and think about yourself. At the end of the day, it is your life. Don’t let anyone ruin it.

Together with this brief piece of advice, I would like to share a song that has helped me a lot when coping with insults, abuse and mocking. This song is called ‘Mean’ and it is sang by Taylor Swift, who songwrote it herself, probably based on her own experiences of being bullied and isolated during part of her childhood and teen years. Even if you don’t like Taylor, read the lyrics and listen to the song. Just read and listen. It will help. Music always helps:

Listen to the song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYa1eI1hpDE

LYRICS

‘You, with your words like knives

And swords and weapons that you use against me

You have knocked me off my feet again

Got me feeling like I’m nothing

You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard

Calling me out when I’m wounded

You picking on the weaker man

You can take me down with just one single blow

But you don’t know, what you don’t know…

Someday I’ll be living in a big ol’ city

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean

Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides

And your wildfire lies and your humiliation

You have pointed out my flaws again

As if I don’t already see them

I walk with my head down

Trying to block you out ’cause I’ll never impress you

I just wanna feel okay again

I bet you got pushed around

Somebody made you cold

But the cycle ends right now

‘Cause you can’t lead me down that road

And you don’t know, what you don’t know…

Someday I’ll be living in a big ol’ city

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean

Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar

Talking over a football game

With that same big loud opinion

But nobody’s listening

Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things

Drunk and grumbling on about how I can’t sing

But all you are is mean

All you are is mean

And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life

And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

But someday I’ll be living in a big ol’ city

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean, yeah

Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so?..

Someday I’ll be living in a big ol’ city (Why you gotta be so?..)

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean (Why you gotta be so?..)

Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me (Why you gotta be so?..)

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?’

Hugs and love,

Emilie H. Featherington 🙂 x

My Gold Writers: The Brontë Sisters

I’m going to talk about three of my favourite writers.

Known as “the eldest Brontë sisters that survived to adulthood” Charlotte, Emily and Anne were three important writers of the XIX century in the English Literature. This article dives into their lives and their works, alone or together. Also includes a discussion about which of them was the best writer, and a reflection of the book of poems they did in common.

BRIEF BIOGRAPHY

Charlotte was the eldest of the three sisters, born in 1816. Then was Emily, born in 1818 and finally Anne, born in 1820. They were from Thornton, but they grew up in Haworth, all this located in Yorkshire.

They had two sisters, Mary and Elizabeth, but both died during their childhood. Also a brother called Branwell, well-known due to his dissipated life. Their mother, Mary, died of an illness one year after giving birth to Anne. Their aunt Elizabeth and their father Patrick, an Anglican clergyman, raised them.

The three sisters went to different schools and moreover, they were also taught at home. With their brother, they were often left alone. However, these moments they used them to create and write stories; they started from an early age.

After their education finished, Anne, Charlotte and Emily worked as teachers and governesses. In 1842, Emily and Charlotte went to Brussels to develop their French knowledge, but the death of their aunt made them return to home for her funeral. Emily stayed, while Charlotte went back to the Belgian capital, as an English teacher. Nonetheless in 1845 she was back home with her sisters.

They all died during their middle adulthood, due to tuberculosis: Emily in 1848 at the age of 30 years, Anne in 1849 at the age of 29 and Charlotte in 1855 at the age of 39 years.

INFLUENCES, STYLE AND VALUES 

Charlotte Brontë: denunciation of board schools

Charlotte always blamed Cowan Bridge -the board school she went to as her older sisters- for the death of Mary and Elizabeth. They both died of tuberculosis that they caught in the school.

Charlotte said: the board school had a poor medical care, they served food in bad conditions, there was a lack of heat and comfortable clothing, and that the teachers were too severe, as their punishments. However, this is controversial, because some recent researchers disagree, saying that the food, clothing, heating, medical care, discipline, etc. at Cowan Bridge was not considered bad for religious schools of the time.

Charlotte experience in Cowan Bridge was her inspiration when describing and creating Lowood School in her famous book Jane Eyre.

Emily Brontë: writer as a hobby

Emily Brontë only wrote one novel, Wuthering Heights. Her single book was controversial from the start of its release.

Its originality, subject, narrative style and passion raised made the book intriguing to readers. Although certain critics condemned it like “atrocious” due to the confrontation with all conventions, sales were magnificent for a novel from an unknown author and with these ideas.

Something to point out from Emily Brontë was her shy personality outside the family circle. Another important fact about her is that, above all, she loved the wild landscape of the grasslands around Haworth, something reflected in Wuthering Heights.

In addition, Emily used to write only for her own satisfaction; she didn’t have any desire for recognition.

Anne Brontë: overshadowed by her sisters

Anne Brontë wasn’t as successful as her sisters Charlotte and Emily, yet she was also an incredible author.

Her works were most of them based on her experiences as a governess and on her brother’s (Brandwell) decline due to alcohol and drugs. Moreover, they demonstrated her idea about books; they should provide moral education, a sense of moral duty. This is better recorded in her book The Tenant of Wildfell Hall.

Anne’s book Agnes Grey seems to be a semi-autobiographical novel of her. In addition, it followed a line of <<a heroine, abandoned and left alone, that resists not only by her almost supernatural talents, but mainly due to the power drawn from her temperament>>, like most authors describe it.

The influence of gothic novels from authors like Ann Radcliffe and Walter Scott is noticeable in her works.

IMPORTANT  WORKS 

Here goes a brief summary of the argument and some notes of the most important book from each Brontë Sister.

Charlotte Brontë: Jane Eyre (1847)

This novel goes through the life of the orphan Jane Eyre, from her childhood to her adulthood; from how she struggled with her aunt and cousins to when she finally marriages her beloved man.

This is considered one of the most successful works of eldest Brontë sister who survived to adulthood.

Charlotte introduced various themes on her book: morality, religion, social class, gender relationships, love and passion, feminism, atonement and forgiveness, and finally the search for home and family. All this, gives the reader issues to think about.


Emily Brontë: Wuthering Heights (1848)


 This story centres on the fervent and tragic love between Catherine Earnshaw and Heathcliff, and how these hard feelings tear down both of them, and the people around.

This was the only novel published by Emily Brontë. However, it’s rumoured that she wrote a second one, although it has never been proved. In addition, two years later, her sister Charlotte edited and re-published Wuthering Heights under by herself.

Anne Brontë: The Tenant of Wildfell Hall (1848)

This book narrates how Gilbert Markham fell’s in love with Helen Graham, the mysterious tenant of Wildfell Hall. Helen’s story is also shared; mainly the misery she experienced in her marriage with the drunken Arthur Huntingdon.

This was Anne’s second published novel, after Agnes Grey that caught little attention. Despite Charlotte and Emily didn’t agree with her decision of making public this work- due to the <<realistic portrayal>> that represented-, the youngest Brontë  sister decided to bring it out , because in that way, she could warn others about the drawbacks of drunkenness.


WHICH WAS THE BEST WRITER FROM THE SISTERS? 

The debate about which was the best Brontë sister has always been very controversial. While Anne has never actually been considered in it, the readers of Charlotte and / or Emily always have different views about this discussion.

Here we have two different opinions:

“Emily’s work is much more deep and complex (than Charlotte ones); she explores the limits of human nature in so many levels… The characters in Wuthering Heights are so passionate, destructive and original… Always in the edge, but still human…”


 “I have to say that I enjoyed both ‘Wuthering Heights’ and ‘Jane Eyre’, and sadly I have only read each book once…. but I will have to go with ‘Jane Eyre’ as my favourite at the moment. Maybe with more readings my preference will change, but now I’m loving Charlotte.”

When talking about this debate, people always mention Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights when comparing.

Charlotte’s wonderful book, Jane Eyre is mainly liked due to the happy ending of the principal characters after all the bad things they went through in their lives.  Emily’s dismal but passionate book Wuthering Heights is praised due to the intense and ardent love that the characters have, and the deep thoughts that are inserted in the work.

COMMON WORK: “BEST POEMS OF THE BRONTË SISTERS”

The Brontë Sisters, apart from having their own works, they wrote together a book of poetry. It is composed of sixty one poems, from which nineteen are from Charlotte; twenty one from Anne; and other twenty one from Emily.

The idea of publishing this work was from Charlotte, and Anne supported her from the start. In contrary, Emily wasn’t very enthusiastic about it, but finally she was convinced by her sisters.

They found a publisher and under their pseudonymous names, they published their common work.

Unfortunately, the book attracted hardly any attention. Only three copies were sold, so the sisters decided to return to work on their own books.

Now, the years have past, and the Brontë Sisters despised work is started to be appreciated more and more. Here we have a modern review, from an anonymous reader.

“Charlotte Brontë had said “The bringing of our little book was hard work. As was to be expected, neither we nor our poems were at all wanted.” When I read the poetry I found it so puzzling why so. The Bells’ poetry is absolutely marvellous. And those of who don’t know, this collection is the occasion for the adoption of their pen names Currer, Ellis and Acton Bell. 


“Anne’s poems (keeping up with the prose styles) comparing with Emily is composed more carefully and less dramatic like “A Reminiscence” while Emily’s are more impassioned, evocating the sense feelings and landscape like in “Remembrance”. Out of all I find Emily’s poetry are the best. One stanza in “The teacher’s Monologue” gives the homesickness Charlotte (and perhaps her sisters as well) felt for Haworth. 


“Sweet dreams of home my heat may fill

that home where I am known and loved”


The collection gives you a better insight to the Brontë sisters’. Though they are mostly emotional, and heartfelt with a sense of loneliness and solitude they are also sad and melancholy but not miserable in anyway what so ever. My favourite is Emily Brontë’s “The Caged Bird”.”

CONCLUSION

The Bronte Sisters were beyond doubt, exceptional. Being a female writer in the XIX Century was something difficult, which explains why they published their works under male names. On top, they had the courage to make known their ideas about important issues of the time such as gender, love, social status, religion, education etc; they went against all the standards of the epoch.

Charlotte, Emily and Anne were three talented sisters whose works were possibly criticised in their publishing moments, but nowadays are unquestionably considered gold novels of the English Literature.

REFERENCES

“The Brontë  family” online article from Wikipedia website.

Link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bront%C3%AB

“Best Brontë sister” online forum from Last.fm website.

Link:  http://www.last.fm/group/I+Actually+Read+Books/forum/35140/_/580023

“The Brontë sisters” online article in the BBC channel website.

Link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/historic_figures/Brontë _sisters.html

“Best Poems of The Brontë Sisters” online review in the Good Reads website.

Link:   http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13225.Best_Poems_of_the_Bront_Sisters

“The Tenant of Wildfell Hall” book.  Author: Acton Bell (Anne Brontë ).

“Wuthering Heights (charlotte’s edition)” book. Author: Emily Brontë .

“Jane Eyre” book. Author: Currer Bell.

Writing an informative article about something I’m interested in,

Emilie H. Featherington