Be Selfish, and Think About Yourself

Here comes a piece of advice I wanna give to everyone out there who is mocked, abused, or bullied: life is too short to waste it overthinking and crying about people’s hurtful comments.

Everyone tells you ‘be yourself’ but no one tells you that you will be judged for it. Everyone tells ‘don’t be afraid to stand up for who you are’ but no one tells you that you will be judged for it. Everyone tells you ‘do what makes you happy’ but no one tells you that you will be judged for it. Conclusion: society is the queen of all b******.

I KNOW the PAIN of being constantly insulted. I KNOW the FRUSTRATION of being treated inferior and having your merits overlooked. I KNOW the MISERY of being left alone and forgotten. I KNOW the CONFUSION of being the object of hurtful pranks and jokes 24/7 without a real reason. It sucks. It really sucks. Sometimes I just sit there, and wonder why. Why to me? Why some people treat me bad, even though I have done nothing bad to them? Why if I give love, and I receive hate? I simply don’t understand. And I never will. Moreover, sometimes hurtful jokes and harsh insults come from people I appreciate, and THAT hurts like nothing else.

Life is unfair, and I have already learnt that. But I can’t help and get mad at myself when I’m in these sort of situations (bullying, abuse and mocking). It takes me a while to remember that I may not be the problem; people who hurt me without a reason are the problem. However, I still feel down and lifeless. Sad. Angry. Frustrated. Empty. I feel rubbish and useless. I would be a liar if I said that I don’t wish everyday I were different. I do wish I was like the average teen girl, but I’m not, and as much as I hate that fact, I can’t change it. All I can do is embrace who I am and love who I am, even if it is the hardest thing ever. And how do I do this? How do I keep going despite negativity? The answer is simple: <>.

The  future is uncertain, and I’m such a hopeful person. ‘Never lose hope’ is my most used phrase to lift my soul up. I believe that some day, things will be better; I will be surrounded by love, and I will belong to someone. I don’t think that I will ever have a 100% positive life, but I know that the constant feelings of anger, sadness, frustration and lifelessness will end, and they will only be temporary or momentary feelings. I have a lot of future plans: I want to work conserving animals, I want to travel, I want to publish a book, I want to set up a charity foundation… And these future plans are just a reflection of who I am and what I love to do. And I like that reflection a lot. I love visualising my future, and realising of how many things I will be able to do the moment I stop listening to or I stop surrounding myself of negativity and pain triggers. And that possible future is what makes me heal after being hurt; it is what makes me recompose myself after being broken; it is what makes me stand up after being stood on.

I won’t allow anyone to ruin my life. Anyone. ANYONE. You can hurt me with your comments; you can me tear me up with your actions; and you can break me down with your insensible pranks. But I will keep going on because life goes on, and pain is not the end. And you guys should think exactly the same as I do. Be selfish, and think about yourself. At the end of the day, it is your life. Don’t let anyone ruin it.

Together with this brief piece of advice, I would like to share a song that has helped me a lot when coping with insults, abuse and mocking. This song is called ‘Mean’ and it is sang by Taylor Swift, who songwrote it herself, probably based on her own experiences of being bullied and isolated during part of her childhood and teen years. Even if you don’t like Taylor, read the lyrics and listen to the song. Just read and listen. It will help. Music always helps:

Listen to the song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYa1eI1hpDE

LYRICS

‘You, with your words like knives

And swords and weapons that you use against me

You have knocked me off my feet again

Got me feeling like I’m nothing

You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard

Calling me out when I’m wounded

You picking on the weaker man

You can take me down with just one single blow

But you don’t know, what you don’t know…

Someday I’ll be living in a big ol’ city

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean

Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides

And your wildfire lies and your humiliation

You have pointed out my flaws again

As if I don’t already see them

I walk with my head down

Trying to block you out ’cause I’ll never impress you

I just wanna feel okay again

I bet you got pushed around

Somebody made you cold

But the cycle ends right now

‘Cause you can’t lead me down that road

And you don’t know, what you don’t know…

Someday I’ll be living in a big ol’ city

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean

Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar

Talking over a football game

With that same big loud opinion

But nobody’s listening

Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things

Drunk and grumbling on about how I can’t sing

But all you are is mean

All you are is mean

And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life

And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

But someday I’ll be living in a big ol’ city

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean, yeah

Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so?..

Someday I’ll be living in a big ol’ city (Why you gotta be so?..)

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean (Why you gotta be so?..)

Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me (Why you gotta be so?..)

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?’

Hugs and love,

Emilie H. Featherington 🙂 x

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Be Selfish, and Think About Yourself

  1. It gets better. In my youth I mostly hid, stayed invisible, taking chances just often enough that other kids didn’t realize my strategy. No way to live, but it got me through High School. Eventually, if you develop standards for yourself that you trust & believe in, others’ opinions matter less, and you can grow armor, independence, even immunity. These days, opinions matter to me no more than I respect the source. Then I learn. Otherwise, I smile and move on. It’s good. Good luck to you. You did good work here!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.